Flutter, Bye - the book that keeps evolving
Shortly after the Art Along the Lake Studio Tour wrapped up last fall, I began illustrating my 5th book. Flutter, Bye would be my third collaboration with author, Krista Betcher. Our first book, I Know You’re Here, is about finding solace in those moments when you feel the presence of a loved one who has passed. Flutter, Bye was inspired by the thoughtful feedback received from people who work with children in the fields of grief counseling and hospice. They expressed a real need for something like our first book… but for the youngest, tender-aged, reader.
Flutter, Bye follows a diminutive blue butterfly on a colorful journey through the landscape of sudden change. “It’s a new chapter in your life. Flutter, bye and flutter, hello,” begins the book. “Flutter, flutter, what’s through that window? Beyond that door? Or over that mountain?” A changed life story is through that window. Love without boundaries is beyond that door. Over
that mountain? Inner strength. Each question leads ever forward, pausing to treasure yesterday, with encouragement to the beyond.
My illustrations are done in 3 steps. First, I draw all the pages, in order, using pencil. Next, I go over these drawings with ink. Finally, I add color to the black & white images by painting them with watercolor.
As I finished the inking process and shared the images with Krista, she had an epiphany that changed everything. Envisioning a Flip Book, she decided to redesign the initial layout completely. The page number was doubled and now, at the center of the book the reader would be prompted to flip it over to the back cover to begin again in reverse… a metamorphoses into that next, “new chapter.”
This second half of the book transforms into: My Flutter, Bye. Here, the intricate illustrations appear in black & white, to allow room for the solace of creativity. As the reader colors the mountain, the page beckons: “My Inner Strength. Use this space to record moments when you felt strong.” Gentle suggestions inspire conversations about loss, healing, and transformation. Interspersed with blank pages, inner dialogue finds a place to expand and the reader has the space to write… to draw… to spread their own unique wings, and fly.
Again, I thought I knew exactly what this book was, and who it was for.
In the publishing world, many months pass from the time I finish the illustrations to when the book is actually printed. I put away the paintings and wait. I love that day when finally, the first copy arrives in the mail! As the illustrator, the experience of seeing my own watercolor paintings… now in book form, is sublime. Enough time has passed that everything is new,
even to me! Another metamorphoses.
Flutter, Bye arrived in late winter… just as Covid19 did. This time, that first sentence, “It’s a new chapter in your life,” jumped out at me with fresh meaning. I reread the book, this time through the eyes of a child facing all the uncertainties of this pandemic, or any illness. Any challenge. Their own, or someone else’s.
I thought of my own children, who lost thier grandmother to cancer when they were very, very young. It was terribly difficult. It was so hard to find words of comfort. If only we’d had this book to read together. It also occurred to me that they might’ve been able to spend time reading it with her before she passed, and then had it as a precious keepsake. Forever. Marilyn would’ve loved that.
I gave copies to a friend whose kids are a bit older, in middle school. She sent me photos of them sitting side by side along a river, quietly journaling in the days after schools were first closed.
I sent one as a graduation gift.
Slowly it dawned on me that although we initially designed the book with younger children facing loss in mind, as it evolved it became something that might resonate with all ages… for many reasons. Therein lies the magic of books.
Framed original watercolors from Flutter, Bye for the 2020 Art Along the Lake Tour, hanging in my rustic summer studio space. On the left is the “Concept Painting” I did as my design proposal for illustrating the book.